MEAN GIRLS?

A symptom of social stratification.

A disease with competition at its center.

When did we, humans, become so afraid of not having enough?

When did women become so insecure they feel they have to compete with each other?

Also, when did people start confusing authenticity and honesty with meanness?

I feel that to be honest is not to hurt others. Being honest is being open to different views and still stay grounded in one’s own values. It is not “shining a mirror” in people’s faces, and denying them their reality, whether they are wrong or wright. It is being centered in one’s own worthiness and showing up as such. It is not diminishing oneself to fit in or please others. And it is letting others be their own imperfect/perfect selves.

Authenticity is sharing of oneself openly in every situation. It is not shoving one’s brashness in people’s faces.

Many people use “authenticity” to shame, ridicule, and ultimately change others to their view of things. This kind of “authenticity” is meanness, because it is rooted in judgement, superiority, and a fear of lack.

Being authentic is just being without the need to voice it or prove it.

When society insists on stratification, it robs people of their authenticity and truth.

Living in a hierarchical structure forces us to judge ourselves and others as more or less, better or worse, useful or handicap, beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, educated or ignorant, attractive or unattractive, worthy or unworthy. All these judgements are limited and limiting. Judgments are restrictive of reality.

Men are mean too in slightly different ways. The insidious ones use passive aggressive behavior to display their perceived superiority and to control. Or are openly controlling disguised as “confidence”, as many who call themselves alpha, or as is popular now, sigma males.

Real authenticity is kind. Real honesty is kind.

Kindness is a form of love. It is acknowledgement, appreciation, accepting, and allowing.

Acknowledgment that everyone is doing their very best; appreciation for what is; accepting that there is difference in ways of being; and allowing that diversity of experience. There is no judgement.

Mean girls—a symptom of social stratification and a disease with competition at its center. When did we become so afraid of not having enough? When did women become so insecure they feel they have to compete with each other?

Authenticity and honesty shouldn't be confused with meanness. True honesty is about being open to different views while staying grounded in our own values. It’s about showing up as our worthy selves without diminishing others or ourselves. Authenticity is sharing openly, not shoving brashness in people’s faces.

Stratification robs people of their authenticity and truth. It forces us to judge ourselves and others, limiting our reality. Men are mean too, often using passive aggression or controlling behavior disguised as confidence.

Real authenticity and honesty are kind. Kindness is love—acknowledging, appreciating, accepting, and allowing everyone to be their imperfect/perfect selves without judgment.