When you are raised by women who grew up unprotected by their own mothers because they themselves grew up unprotected, healthy boundaries are a foreign concept.
In my own case, my birthmother abandoned her kids and was not present in my life until I was an adult.
The women who raised me were unsafe and created an environment for me to be unsafe.
Without healthy boundaries, I was vulnerable to those who did not have boundaries themselves.
How can we, women, develop a sense of self-empowerment and agency when we have to spend so much time and energy protecting ourselves from predators?
How can we trust ourselves when we cannot trust our own mothers?
How can we feel supported when we have to compete with our own kind?
This has to shift.
Women need to end the cycle of neglect, oppression, abuse, and competition.
To do this requires tremendous courage.
Courage to know what we want;
courage to stop the patterns we learned;
courage to refuse to put each other down;
courage to forge a path that has not been charted yet.
I believe we have the courage.
After all, we survived!
It takes courage to keep living when all around us is meant to kill us.
If it doesn’t kill us physically, it kills our spirit and sense of self.
The old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” is true for women.
We are stronger than we give ourselves credit.
And, what our mothers lacked, we can own.
What we learned from them is valuable and worthy of appreciation.
They did what they knew what to do with the tools they had.
We do more with the gifts they passed onto us.
These gifts are resilience, hope, and love (albeit misguided at times).
We can honor ourselves and our mothers through our brave exploration of new, better ways of being.
I believe this is possible with a creative practice of curiosity, inquiry, self-love, and self-trust.
We have to re-mother ourselves.
We have to nurture the little girl back into ourselves.
That little girl who was attuned to nature and self-knowing.
That little girl we all were before we were unsafe.
Visioning ourselves back to ourselves, we can become shining examples and even mentors to generations to come.
When we can SEE our desire, we can bring it into being.
We can paint it, literally, with our own colors, our own sense of beauty.
Young girls and women look to us to mirror what they desire:
FREEDOM, PURPOSE, AND CONNECTION.
Let's be brave together!
Growing up in an environment devoid of safety and stability, where healthy boundaries are a foreign concept, can leave a profound impact on a girl's sense of self and empowerment.
For many, including myself, navigating the complexities of boundaries and self-trust becomes an arduous journey, particularly when the very women who were meant to nurture and protect us were unable to do so due to their own traumatic pasts.
In my own experience, abandonment and instability characterized my early years, as my birthmother was absent from my life until adulthood, leaving me in the care of women who were themselves ill-equipped to provide the safety and support I needed.
Raised in an environment where boundaries were blurred and safety was compromised, I struggled to cultivate a sense of self-empowerment amidst the constant need to protect myself from potential harm.
For women who have grown up in similar circumstances, the path to reclaiming our power and establishing healthy boundaries can seem daunting.
How can we trust ourselves when we were never taught to trust our own mothers?
How can we feel supported when we are pitted against each other in a world that fosters competition rather than collaboration?
Breaking free from the cycle of neglect, oppression, abuse, and competition requires immense courage – the courage to acknowledge our desires, to disrupt the patterns we've inherited, and to refuse to perpetuate the cycle of harm.
It demands that we embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-love, nurturing the wounded child within us and reconnecting with the innate wisdom and intuition we were born with.
To embark on this transformative journey, we must cultivate a creative practice rooted in curiosity, inquiry, and self-trust.
We must learn to mother ourselves, providing the love, care, and validation that was absent in our formative years.
We must forgive our mothers and ourselves for not having the tools to live a life of freedom.
We must acknowledge the fact that we have been in survival mode and understand that that can be changed now that we are no longer dependent on someone else’s choices.
We must support and help each other in that journey back to ourselves.
By embracing our true selves and reclaiming our inherent worth, we can serve as beacons of hope and inspiration for future generations of women.
As we envision a world where freedom, purpose, and connection are accessible to all, let us stand together in bravery and solidarity.
Let us support each other as we navigate the complexities of healing and growth, knowing that by reclaiming our power, we not only transform our own lives but also pave the way for a brighter, more compassionate future for generations to come.
Together, let us be the change we wish to see in the world.
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